Behaviors Feed

How Thick Is Your Lense of Self?

Just because we can physically see doesn't mean we can't also be blind. While most clients agree that the assessments I use are at least 85% accurate, each time I coach someone a behavior or strengths assessment, at some point in the debrief, I still hear the comment, "I don't think I'm really like this". The stark reality is that other people often see our behaviors better than we do!

In today's fast-paced culture, most of us don't take the time to intentionally get to know ourselves and how our behavior impacts other people. We tend to look at the world through the fog of self, living on autopilot and assuming that everyone automatically thinks the same way we do. When others behave in ways we personally would not act, we deem them irrational or ignorant, resulting in more internal frustration and outward conflict than necessary.

The good news is that clarity trumps emotion. With a little education and observation, we gain an understanding of ourselves and others. We learn that different isn't bad or "stupid", just different. Better communication ensues and much of the conflict melts away. Finally, we see things as they truly are.

How well do you konw yourself? How do you react when someone tells you something about your behavior that you don't want to hear? The next time it happens, ask yourself "How could that be me?" and you might just learn something new about yourself.

Little Things Make Big Impacts

Have you ever thought about how much the little things you do impact someone else's opinion of you? For better or for worse, the little things matter and send more of a message than you may realize. 
First, let's take a look at one common mistake many people make - that of mispelling someone's name. I can relate to this one personally because more often than not, I find my name spelled wrong on websites, correspondence, meeting agendas, nametags and even speaking engagement announcements. 
A misspelled name might convey any or all of the following messages to the person whose name is misspelled:

  1. You don't care enough to get it right.
  2. You aren't capable of getting it right.
  3. You might not get other things right.

How often do people correct you regarding spelling errors of this nature? Keep in mind that fewer people correct you than the number of mistakes you make!
Can you see how such a seemingly small thing might have huge implications to your personal and professional relationships? What other examples can you think of where a small mistake might communicate a bigger problem? What should you change to leave a better impression?
On the flip side of mistakes, encouraging words,  kind gestures and getting details correct,  leave lasting positive impressions. We can be seen as outstanding by merely being proactive in getting the little things right.
We are all in the people business whether we realize it or not.  They are watching, listening...and thinking. What do you want them to think about you?

Leadership and DISC: Who IS the best?

People come in many shapes, sizes and personalities. Because we are all different, we tend to compare ourselves to others. However, the danger in making comparisons is that we often fail to notice our own giftedness, choosing instead to focus on the areas where we fall short of someone else's skill set.

There is no such thing as one best, all-purpose leadershp style. The best leaders are those who understand what their specific situation calls for to be successful and either adapt accordingly or recruit other qualified individuals to supplement their skills. I help my clients learn how to adapt better by encouraging them to "try on" other behavior styles and helping to identify areas of there work they can delegate.

According to Allesandra and O'Connor's PeopleSmart, four basic leadership styles correspond to the four core behavior styles in the DISC assessment.

  • Direction of others through dominance/directness (D)
  • Interaction with others (I)
  • Service to the goals of others (S)
  • Self-direction through compliance (C)

From these descriptions can you identify your primary style? Chances are, you are a blend of one or more of the above. Can you imagine a work or life situation where each one of these styles might work the best or not at all?

The most important thing to remember is that we are all different and uniquely gifted to carry out the "job" we are born to do. We will all lead in our own way. Get to know yourself better. Being coached through an assessment process is one way to do this. Then, seek out activities or job roles where you can spend the most time where you excel so you can be the best YOU!

What are your thoughts as to the best leadership style? In what ways have you adapted successfully to be more effective? What will you do with what you've learned?

DISC Styles: Are you a Tortoise or a Hare?

How fast do you like to go? Do you like to sprint, jog, or walk through life? Today we will take a look at two opposite personalities on the DISC behavioral model, the "D" and the "S", and provide some tips for peaceful interaction between the two. We'll be examining each as they resemble the characters in the familiar tale "The Tortoise and the Hare".

Let's first look at Mr. Hare, whom I'm likening to the Dominant Director "D". If you are a hare, you are ambitious, forceful, decisive and direct. You love to win and can't wait to get to the finish line! Your independent and competitive nature helps you to run with no fear.

On the other hand, Mr. Tortoise, the Steady Relator "S", is methodical, systematic, reliable and steady. He is modest and relaxed, sometimes hiding in his shell. Winning is not that important, as long as he finishes...and the team gets along with each other.

Can you see the contrast? As with any two different personality styles, communication challenges abound between these particular two. Here are some tips for dealing with each that I share with my coaching clients, no matter who you are:

Mr. Hare (D) likes you to:

  • Pick up the pace
  • Be clear, specific and to the point
  • Stick to business and be organized

Mr. Tortoise (S) likes you to:

  • Begin with a personal comment to break the ice
  • Slow down, take it easy
  • Present your case softly with nonthreatening tone

When we know ourselves for who we really are (how others see us) and can recognize others and appreciate them for who they are, we can greatly increase communication and understanding. Great leaders are people experts!

Experiment this week. Look for the tortoises and hares in your life (chances are you are married to your opposite!) and adapt to fit their needs. Everyone will benefit!

Readers, what do you think? How have you been able to apply these things? Click the comment link below and let us know!