Just because we can physically see doesn't mean we can't also be blind. While most clients agree that the assessments I use are at least 85% accurate, each time I coach someone a behavior or strengths assessment, at some point in the debrief, I still hear the comment, "I don't think I'm really like this". The stark reality is that other people often see our behaviors better than we do!
In today's fast-paced culture, most of us don't take the time to intentionally get to know ourselves and how our behavior impacts other people. We tend to look at the world through the fog of self, living on autopilot and assuming that everyone automatically thinks the same way we do. When others behave in ways we personally would not act, we deem them irrational or ignorant, resulting in more internal frustration and outward conflict than necessary.
The good news is that clarity trumps emotion. With a little education and observation, we gain an understanding of ourselves and others. We learn that different isn't bad or "stupid", just different. Better communication ensues and much of the conflict melts away. Finally, we see things as they truly are.
How well do you konw yourself? How do you react when someone tells you something about your behavior that you don't want to hear? The next time it happens, ask yourself "How could that be me?" and you might just learn something new about yourself.